Usual Hiatus

Let me catch my ever growing fan base up to date on the events I have partook in over the past months of my hiatus. I guess most my activites can be compared to the works of Bono. He attempts to better the welfare of peoples lives in impoverished nations, I incessantly carouse on facebook late night with blood shot eyes occasionally taking time to look in the right hand corner to check the time, for fear the sun may rise soon and I may not make it back to my coffin in time. So I would definately say there are glaring comparisons between the two of us.


Other than this the myriad of other ventures that I am taking advantage of this summer include watching my new favorite show "Dexter" which I plan on creating a seperate blog entry because I could ramble on and on about the dynamics of the show. More or less Dexter the lead played by Michael C. Hall is a blood splatter analyst working with Miami police unit by day and going rogue by night and killing criminals who fall under his "code" that still have free roam on the streets. Thats just a quick synapsis there will be more to come in the future.


As far as a cardio vascular workouts I usually maintain my chizzled physique by going to the local outdoor basketball courts and shooting the "rock" with some of the local African americans. No stereotypes or racism here... that is the only people I hoop with. I am the sole reputation for the white race on that concrete rectangle and boy do I do a shitty job of "reppin" my race. The local African American often "clown" on me laughing at my shaggy hair, uncontrollable facial hair growth (I like to consider the glass half full and label myself as facially adept), my vampire esque skin (already this sounds like side effects from a dietary supplement) , and not to mention my knee high socks that I rock to provide my legs the comfort and support they need and deserve. I have also been working out with via the support of Wii Fit and its training staff. In the very beginning you are allowed to choose between a female or male fitness trainer, I choose the male trainer seeing as the female would laugh me right out of the virtual gym.


My male virtual trainer I nicknamed Lou Basedow a combination of Lou Ferrigno and Jon Basedow (Think the incredible hulk with an amazing head of hair). Its almost as though my fitness trainer is custom tailored towards me, constantly offering me tidbits of advice that relate to me. He will say "To stay healthy its vital to get a good nights rest" or "Damn who is that shawty in the weight room today, you could never tap that ass with the bod you got". Okay maybe he doesnt verbalize that last one, but I can read it in his virtual eyes. We usually do core workouts focusing on the abdominal area, usually doing 50 or so jack knife crunches. Occasionally he will offer me drugs to enhance my preformance, but I laugh and turn him down knowing I dont need to use Viagra.


Ahhh the next project I have invested much excessive time into and that is my posts on the Jacksonville Jaguars message board. Now that I tally over 630 posts on the message board I walk with my head held high and a little more confidence in my step. That many posts is just a drop in the bucket to some of the more habitual posters who more than likely live in their mothers basement (Im far better than that... I live in the upstairs of my mothers house) who have thousands upon thousands of posts. I will stop at nothing to have the most posts on the message board. To reach this objective I am left with one of two options 1) Keep posting till my fingers fall off 2) Exterminate everyone with more posts than I. Option 2 is looking very favorable seeing as I like having my fingers. I would be dubbed the Jacksonville Jaguars message board killer media outlets would report upon me every waking moment while I remained cloaked in complete anonminity. There would be a nation wide manhunt scouring mothers basements across America while I seek refuge upstairs from my pursuing captors while I keep a journal of the events unfolding. (Think Anne Franks Diary) As the Heath Ledgers rendition of The Joker would say "Its all part of the plan" Maybe quite possibly I have had just a little bit to much free time on this hiatus.